七律 重访江北山庄（ Revisit The Mountain Village)

青衫来客

The soft breeze blows along the way while I have a light heart to remain.
I am driving merrily to visit the little village in the mountains once again.
Lotus leaves covering half of verdant lake picture the summer so brilliant
Butterflies fanning among the eggplant flowers spread a scent so fragrant.
My old friend appears in new clothes to greet me for the previous favor
The dinner is held in the house newly built with the green and aged flavor
I am leaving at sunset to find a lingering look of on face of the yellow dog
For drinking as whale his master is kept home in his sound sleep like a log
一路和风笑意藏，
轻车又访小山庄。
荷浮碧水半湖夏，
蝶扇茄花三里香。
老友靓衫说旧意
鲜蔬村酿宴新房
大黄落日犹相送，
地主依然醉梦长。

金沙文字

欣赏一下中文，英文等老娱来跟你切磋
请详解：
1、笑意藏。为什么要藏？一个人要想笑是很难憋住的哟，此人是谁？
2、轻车是什么车？
3、靓衫是不是花衣服？
4、老友的中文英文都没有词性变化，要是俄语一下就看出是男友还是女友，请加注说明.......................:D ..............................................

自娱自乐

靓 ----好像是广东话，意思是美丽而不是新，所以，靓衫 =  nice or beautiful dress / clothe, well, it depends on gender.

自娱自乐

while I have a light heart to remain. -----hehehe, as a reader without understanding any Chinese would think you are dying, hahahha
老青，初稿不够理想，请再斟酌。

自娱自乐

轻车 ---- it means the car goes fast and smoothly or it goes without a hitch

自娱自乐

covering half of verdant lake ------covering the half of...
it is also ok to say 'covering half a verdant lake', I think.
picture the summer? so the previous summers were not as beautiful as this one?
I think it is better to say 'make summer (look) so brilliant'
picture sth means imagine sth or form some pictures in your mind, anyhow, you may say paint sth...blah..blah
my two cents

自娱自乐

My old friend appears with new clothes  ------ Normally, we say appear in new clothes, with new clothes might mean he brings new clothes with him, ...

自娱自乐

I am leaving on the sun setting ---------- at, not on, it is because sunset indicates time, so...

自娱自乐

I am leaving on the sun setting and find a lingering look of the yellow dog
better to say 'as I'm leaving, ....blah..blah...a look
Well, hang on, find a look of the yellow dog, that sounds a bit weird, ...a funny look in one's eyes or on one'sface
Anyway, it is a great poem, buddie,  I like it very much.  

童天鉴日

原帖由 金沙文字 于 2009-7-14 9:46:00 发表
欣赏一下中文，英文等老娱来跟你切磋
请详解：
1、笑意藏。为什么要藏？一个人要想笑是很难憋住的哟，此人是谁？
2、轻车是什么车？
3、靓衫是不是花衣服？
4、老友的中文英文都没有词性变化，要是俄语一下就看出是男友还是女友，请加注说明.......................:D ..............................................

笑里藏梦，不可道明。