《七律 重访江北山庄》作者/ 青衫来客 翻译/自娱自乐

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-18 10:06:00 发表
On the whole, it is a beautiful version and fully expresses the meaning of the original. Or, I would rather say, if I want to flatter you, better than the original.

hehehe, thanks for your flattery, but 'flattery will get me nowhere', hahaha

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-7-18 9:56:00 发表
dog and log, yes, but you have to go a long long way to rhym them, don't you? You have to add so many things untold in the poem to your translation version, right?

Yes, you hit right on the head of the nail. I can also say---Feeling reluctant to let me go is the knowing yellow dog But his drunken master still sleeps soundly like a log"
The problem is that I have to make the style of the whole version even. My E. still leaves much to be desired and a big effort is  required, too.

青衫来客

You deserve every letter of it.  

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-7-18 10:10:00 发表
[quote] 原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-18 10:03:00 发表
At sunset his yellow dog feels so reluctant to let me go,
For his intoxicated master still sleeps and dreams also.
FOR is not the right wo......

For means reason here? I think the dog feel reluctant to let me go does not concern if his master concious or unconcious.

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-7-18 10:04:00 发表
大黄落日犹相送，----my interpretation is that yellow dog doesn't want me to go, right? so what do you mean by a lingering look on his face? does it mean the dog wants to stay? so you are his master, aren't yo

My FOR is not your FOR, placed in a varied context of words.

青衫来客

What is more, you can not follow the wrong.:D ::Q

自娱自乐

Yes, this might be the fact, but if you say so, well, it is no longer a poem at all...

Remember it is a poem!

青衫来客

Great, my  olden buddy.  

自娱自乐

你的诗句美就美在宜人化，本来狗就通人性，但诗里的这只大黄狗更像个忠实管家，替主人挽留客人，也同时希望客人不要乘主人酣睡之时悄悄地‘溜’走了。你说这是不是条理由啊？哈哈哈

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-7-18 11:21:00 发表
你的诗句美就美在宜人化，本来狗就通人性，但诗里的这只大黄狗更像个忠实管家，替主人挽留客人，也同时希望客人不要乘主人酣睡之时悄悄地‘溜’走了。你说这是不是条理由啊？哈哈哈

You lousy guy, you never lose.