【英诗汉译】莎士比亚《岁月与爱》宛城卧龙译

唐凯

中文语句大气奔放，可圈可点。

埃文河天鹅

多谢无心剑和版主的关注。没想到一个小小的石子儿，会激荡起浪花。这可能是经典的力量吧，说不尽的莎士比亚！

sometime在莎翁的作品中经常出现，这里可以当做once解。比如my sometime friend, 读作my once friend, 就容易理解了。

brass: monumental brasses, 主要是指黄铜像和刻有文章的黄铜纪念碑。[钱兆明] 和中国人一样，西方人也觉得只有功绩和文章垂世，方能不朽。
参考：[爱的徒劳]的开篇：
Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
Live register’d upon our brazen tombs
让人们毕生所追求之声誉，永刻在铜碑，亦即永垂青史。

down-razed: levelled to the ground. [钱兆明]
之所以我提到了用被动态，是因为我脑海里浮现出文革时孔庙等一些古迹被大规模毁坏。轰然倒下强调的是结果，而夷平，是强调人为地强行夷平，拆除，推倒。

brass eternal slave to mortal rage写得绝了！不愧是wordsmith的手笔！eternal brass和mortal rage是相对的，前者要追求不朽[eternal]，而被死神肆虐。
mortal rage: (1) human violence; (2) fury of mortality [钱兆明] 即：人们的破坏；死亡肆虐。rage这里不作“过度热情”解。

这两行指莎士比亚目睹在英国宗教改革时天主教的一些建筑物和纪念饰物被破坏。[钱兆明]

另外，钱兆明先生对eternal做了精辟的注释，充分证明了莎士比亚作为语言巨匠的才情。
(1) time-enduring (修饰brass);
(2) foverer (修饰slave to mortal rage).
即：（1）eternal这里是形容词。永久的铜碑；（2）这里eternal作副词，相当于eternally. 铜碑永远受到死神肆虐的奴役。

埃文河天鹅

梁宗岱先生的译本我没有见过。我有梁实秋先生的PDF版译本。这两句话他的翻译是：
我看到当年的高楼被夷平，
永生的铜碑禁不起死神肆虐；

宛城卧龙

问候 哎 怎奈手边一点文字资料都没有，只是在网上搜索，也是有限。先生的解释，我当一种资料暂时保存起来，待今后有空专门在图书馆查阅一下。上午 晚上前后看了先生的注释几遍。怎奈没有资料 我无法讨论。我也不想总去麻烦海老让他帮我查询解释，

就暂时把第四行作为一个争议点暂时放起来。

宛城卧龙

无力讨论，说声抱歉了！谢谢先生的资料 我存起来

无心剑

呵呵，用“豆腐块”译了13首老莎十四行诗，今天换换胃口，彻底来个散译，放松放松，O(∩_∩)O~

Time and Love

时光与爱

by William Shakespeare

威廉•莎士比亚

When I have seen by Time's fell hand defaced
The rich proud cost of outworn buried age;
When sometime lofty towers I see down-razed
And brass eternal slave to mortal rage;
When I have seen the hungry ocean gain
Advantage on the kingdom of the shore,
And the firm soil win of the watery main,
Increasing store with loss and loss with store;
When I have seen such interchange of state,
Or state itself confounded to decay;
Ruin hath taught me thus to ruminate,
That Time will come and take my love away.
This thought is as a death, which cannot choose
But weep to have that which it fears to lose.

见时光毒手
摧毁远古珍宝；
昔日高楼被夷平，
不朽铜碑遭浩劫。
见饥海吞噬
岸边寸寸疆土；
而陆地挺进汪洋，
盈亏得失，此消彼长；
见兴衰不断交替，
或兴衰本身化成空，
毁灭教会我沉思，
时光终要夺去我爱，
此思致命，无法选择，
只好哭着抓牢怕失去的爱。

译于2010年8月6日。

埃文河天鹅

卧龙先生 - 谦虚了。国外关于莎士比亚的研究多如牛毛，各种版本注释本杂陈坊间。美国学者Booth，英国学者Ingram，在莎学研究颇具权威！
如第一二行
When I have seen by time's fell hand defaced
The rich proud cost of outworn buried age.
国内权威注释本即钱兆明先生的注释本是：
1-2 have seen的宾语与补足语为the rich proud cost of outworn buried age defaced by time's fell hand.
1. fell (adj.): cruel. defaced: obliterated, disfigured.
2. proud: showy. cost: costly things, 指人类创造的文物。outworn: (1) worn out; (2) past.
而国外的注释相比之下就绵密细致。
如第二行美国Bevingtong的paraphrase是：i.e. those monuments that were the product of proud wealth and magnificent outlay in times now past and forgotten.
在国内，中国人民大学出版社出版了阿登版莎士比亚，可资一读。各种版本比读，可以接近原意。

你和无心剑先生的译本都很好。

童天鉴日

卧龙新译，读来好爽！

宛城卧龙

感谢 埃文河天鹅  先生

随后会陆续翻译一些莎翁的东东 还请多多给予指点

埃文河天鹅

今天读到C.L.Finney (Evolution of Keats's Poetry, 1936, I, 356):
Keats took this sonnet, I believe, as the model of his first Shakespearean sonnet ('When I have fears").

深以为是！

VVHen I haue ſeene by times fell hand defaced        When I have fears that I may cease to be
The rich proud coſt of outworne buried  age,            Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
When ſometime loftie towers I ſee downe raſed,       Before high piled books, in charact'ry,
And braſſe eternall ſlaue to mortall rage.                   Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;
When I haue ſeene the hungry Ocean gaine              When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Aduantage on the Kingdome of the ſhoare,               Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And the firme ſoile win of the watry maine,               And think that I may never live to trace
Increaſing ſtore with loſſe,and loſſe with ſtore.           Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
When I haue ſeene ſuch interchange of ſtate,            And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
Or ſtate it ſelfe confounded, to decay,                      That I shall never look upon thee more,
Ruine hath taught me thus to ruminate                       Never have relish in the faery power
That Time will come and take my loue away.           Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
  This thought is as a death which cannot chooſe         Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
  But weepe to haue,that which it feares to looſe.        Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.