同题翻译笔会（古诗英译）春词 - 刘禹锡

自娱自乐

原帖由 薛湃 于 2009-12-8 2:51:00 发表
无心君的A courtyard of spring scenery locks her in sorrow令人叫绝，如能将“深”字译出就更妙了：
            A yard of spring sight locks her so deep in sorrow
但也有一问：为何第一句末的bower是复数？  

呵呵呵，薛君真是聪明一世，糊涂一时啊，呵呵呵
还不就是为了对上下面的flowers,呵呵呵
回薛君，flower 用单数似乎不妥，既然是count, 那数的东西一定不少，而且flower 是个可数名词。
我可以改为 many a flower
谢谢你的参与，也期待你的版本。

自娱自乐

另外，这个'atrium' 用在这儿值得商榷。

自娱自乐

原帖由 薛湃 于 2009-12-8 2:51:00 发表
无心君的A courtyard of spring scenery locks her in sorrow令人叫绝，

Ditto!

年轻有为，多才多艺，令人钦佩。

薛湃

Some Words for Spring

Fresh in dress, face so fair, she comes down the bower red;
With the spring locked so deep, the whole yard is woe-weighed.
In the atrium she can but count the flowers ahead,
A dragonfly then rests on her hairpin of jade.

仿原文韵式：

Dressed fresh, face so fair, from red bower comes down the maid;
Spring's locked so deep in the yard, with woe deeper weighed.
Walking in the court, she can but count the flowers ahead,
A dragonfly then rests on her hairpin of jade.

薛湃

自娱君：many a堪称你的绝招之一啊，哈哈！
bowers用复数，就成了“她从好多个朱楼上走下来”就是嘛！除非她会分身术，呵呵

自娱自乐

原帖由 薛湃 于 2009-12-8 5:27:00 发表
Some Words for Spring

Fresh in dress, face so fair, she comes down the bower red;
With the spring locked so deep, the whole yard is woe-weighed.
In the atrium she can but count the flowers ahead,
A d......

Beautiful indeed!

自娱自乐

atrium

An atrium is a part of a building such as a hotel or shopping centre, which extends up through several floors of the building and often has a glass roof.

http://www.google.com.au/diction ... 7Cen&hl=en&q=atrium

薛湃

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-12-8 6:06:00 发表
atrium

An atrium is a part of a building such as a hotel or shopping centre, which extends up through several floors of the building and often has a glass roof.

[url=http://www.google.com.au/dic......

看来atrium是现代的事物。。。译文中又不想重复用(court)yard一词，如何是好？<img src=" alt="" />

自娱自乐

另外，俺这个 tower 太吓人了，是不？哈哈哈

薛湃

非也，佳人住在tower里，也是有古例的，例如白素贞，呵呵
该诗是讲宫女的，皇宫里有tower并不奇怪。