【汉诗英译】闻一多《宇宙》宛城卧龙译

铁_冰 · 发表于 2010-1-28 02:39:00

呵呵，您太客气了。

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 04:47:00

Well, whatever, you are absolutely entitled to your opinion.

Anyway, I also give it a try for fun with bends and twists, hehehe

宇宙

闻一多

宇宙是个监狱
但是个模范监狱
它的目的在革新
并不在惩旧

The Universe

The universe is a prison
Yet it is a typical one
That aims for innovating fast
Rather than accusing the past

:P

铁_冰 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:06:00

I just told the truth, not my opinion.

铁_冰 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:09:00

what does "creating fast" mean?

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:17:00

Sorry, I meant to say 'innovating'...

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:19:00

Well, if you are not seeking rhyming, why do you want to finish your version with two - tions?

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:28:00

I don't think so, buddie.

quote

prison与one并不押韵。
相同的词不能用来押韵。
原诗重复“监狱”，译文也应重复，不应以one代替。
重复prison是为了与原诗形似，不是为了押韵。

unquote

Does it represent your personal opinion?

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:33:00

If we have to repeat the word that means prison, why can't we say 'prison' and 'gaol / jail', which means exactly the same thing since we don't have to worry about the rhyming?

Of course, you can refute it by saying 'do exactly what poet says', which is also Mr. yishi's translation theory.

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:51:00

On the other hand, if we have to do rhyming, what would be your suggestions or tips please?

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-1-28 06:56:00

I know, under some circumstances, the repetition of a word is necessary for the artistic effect, yet it is certainly not imperative for everyone to follow, right?

账号		自动登录	找回密码
密码			立即注册

【汉诗英译】闻一多《宇宙》宛城卧龙译

回复 11# 卧龙先生的帖子

回复 20# 铁_冰的帖子

回复 22# 自娱自乐的帖子

回复 24# 铁_冰的帖子

回复 23# 铁_冰的帖子

回复 23# 铁_冰的帖子

【汉诗英译】闻一多《宇宙》宛城卧龙译

回复 11# 卧龙先生 的帖子

回复 20# 铁_冰 的帖子

回复 22# 自娱自乐 的帖子

回复 24# 铁_冰 的帖子

回复 23# 铁_冰 的帖子

回复 23# 铁_冰 的帖子

回复 11# 卧龙先生的帖子

回复 20# 铁_冰的帖子

回复 22# 自娱自乐的帖子

回复 24# 铁_冰的帖子

回复 23# 铁_冰的帖子

回复 23# 铁_冰的帖子