【古诗英译】一剪梅（宋）李清照

自娱自乐

回复 Rhapsodia 的帖子

I didn't say one has to translate 'boat' into 'bed'. What I meant to say was a reading guide or note seems necessary, otherwise I can dare guess no one would associate it with a bed.

boat scenario, it says she changes her light dress for warm ones, and then floats alone on a boat...

Well, how could it be possible for a reader to figure that out - 'changing clothes'? Did the poet really say 'change clothes'? Yeah, you can say it is none of your business, and should never underestimate your readers' intelligence, but you miss a point, which is one shall be faithful to its original meaning. If we don't sort of give our readers a stick to help them with "walking well thru' this poem, how could you possibly expect them to really appreciate it?

Just let them be deceived by their wild or mis-interpretation or mis-reading?

magnolia or orchid boat is not slangy, but it has a hidden meaning, so in my humble opinion it should be sort of explained in a way so as to properly lead our potential readers...

Loon

看来翻译古诗词（不仅是古诗词啦）案头工作不可缺少，有时以为自己懂得诗词的意思，待动手翻译时却犯踌躇（说起来这还是解读用自己的母语写的诗词呢）。因对“红藕”译为"red lotus root)耿耿于怀，又Google了一下，搜到如下词语解释：

红藕 hóng ǒu 　　
【基本释义】 　　红藕，红莲的别称，也叫做红菡萏，。一种开花的睡莲科植物，学名为Nelumbium speciosum，梵语Padma，巴利语Paduma，音译为钵头摩华，意译红莲花，在印度自古被视为高贵之花。 　　
【相关诗词】 　　
唐·裴说 《旅次衡阳》诗：“晚秋红藕里，十宿寄渔船。” 　　
后蜀·顾夐 《醉公子》词之一：“漠漠秋云澹，红藕香侵。” 　　
宋·李清照 《一翦梅》词：“红藕香残玉簟秋。轻解罗裳，独上兰舟。”

Loon

还有，

注释


① 红藕：红色的荷花。 玉簟：光滑似玉的竹席。
② 兰舟：用木兰木造的舟，诗词中多只泛用作舟的美称。
③ 锦书：前秦苏惠曾织锦作《璇玑图诗》，寄其夫窦滔，计八百四十字，纵横反复，皆可诵读，文词凄婉。后人因称妻寄夫为锦字，或称锦书；亦泛为书信的美称。
④ 雁字：群雁飞时常排成“一”字或“人”字，诗文中因以雁字称群飞的大雁。

译文：
silky letter through clouds
the letter by the geese returns

确实做到字对字了，但读起来费解。

Loon

ok, boat scenario.

有解释为-

上阕共六句，接下来的五句顺序写词人从昼到夜一天内所作之事、所触之景、所生之情。前两句“轻解罗裳，独上兰舟”，写的是白昼在水面泛舟之事，以“独上”二字暗示处境，暗逗离情。下面“云中谁寄锦书来”一句，则明写别后的悬念。词人独上兰舟，本想排遣离愁；而怅望云天，偏起怀远之思。这一句，钩连上下。它既与上句紧相衔接，写的是舟中所望、所思；而下两句“雁字回时，月满西楼”，则又由此生发。可以想见，词人因惦念游子行踪，盼望锦书到达，遂从遥望云空引出雁足传书的遐想。而这一望断天涯、神驰象外的情思和遐想，不分白日或月夜，也无论在舟上或楼中，都是萦绕于词人心头的。

再以李清照的词的标准来看：

韵律谐和，品质高雅，意境浑厚，布局有方，情感细腻，含蓄稳重，情调雅致。

我倾向解读一, 自娱君。

海外逸士

為什麼BOAT要理解為BED﹖蘭舟在別的詩裡有過註解。這裡忘了。一般給自己同胞看﹐
不放上註解。如果“床”代替“舟”﹐可是“床”不與“蘭”連用。

中文是複下來的。我連標點符號都沒改動。

[Why did she have to open or untie her dress to either float or get on a
boat? ]
外國人譯中國詩詞總是摸不著意思。我真不知道OPEN  DRESS什麼意思。他的母語好
像不是英文。我只是按字面譯﹐字面不難理解﹐至於WHY﹐你得問李清照。

[ it sounds very logical, so I reckon it should be on / in bed rather than
a boat.]
外國人喜歡與SEX聯繫起來。中國古代女性不會直接寫性的。最好了解一下當時生活
習慣。所以﹐在這方面不要鑽牛角尖。

梦回楼兰

我中文都没有学好

梦回楼兰

是翻译吗

Rhapsodia

回复 自娱自乐 的帖子

Ok, please allow me to clarify one point here. I took "兰舟" = bed as an example, to illustrate my idea of not making everything in the original poem explicit in the translation version. Please note that I meant "translation" itself. As for whether a note is necessary to guide the readers,  I have made myself clear in the short message, I hope.
Now, about "boat scenario, it says she changes her light dress for warm ones, and then floats alone on a boat..."
As far as I can see, the poem didn't mention a word of changing clothes. The only words appeared was “轻解罗裳”。(By the way, I didn't say Kenneth Rexroth's translation is an accurate one or a better one, e.g. "open" is also a word I don't feel comfortable with. I provided his version merely for the purpose of sharing, in hope of some discussion.) "Untie" doesn't necessarily mean to "change". However, the issues of why she unties her clothes, and what the relationship is between "untie" and "float on a boat" are ambiguous. It is a veil in the original poem making things misty and thus leaving a boundless space for reader's imagination. If we, on the other hand, provide a note telling readers that boat can be an indication of "bed", this "guidance" will narrow down the choices of readers in their own freedom of thinking. By providing one possible comprehension, we might eliminate all the others. I, as a translator, would rather leave it for those critics, teachers (when teaching their students), or reviewers to do that annotating job.
A stick to help readers "walking through a poem" is only necessary, in my opinion, when a word/phrase/sentence can be a serious barrier in understanding. But here with this "boat",  I personally don't see the advantages of providing a guidance.
Hidden meaning is always, and should always be left as hidden. Otherwise, poetry will no longer be poetry.

Rhapsodia

回复 海外逸士 的帖子

Kenneth Rexroth (December 22, 1905–June 6, 1982) was an American poet, translator and critical essayist. He was among the first poets in the United States to explore traditional Japanese poetic forms such as haiku[1]. He is regarded as a central figure in the San Francisco Renaissance.

from wiki

自娱自乐

回复 Loon 的帖子

http://www.pkucn.com/viewthread.php?tid=207917

谢谢Loon君的解答。大家可以看看北大中文论坛围绕 ‘轻解罗裳’所展开的讨论，里面也提到了 ‘兰舟’ 可解读为 ‘床’，蛮有意思的。其实我对 ’床‘ 的解读也是将信将疑的。但是，任何的事都可能发生，这不烂熟于心的 ’床前明月光‘ 的 ‘床’ ，译文也都翻为 'bed', 突然间被考证为 ‘井栏’了，那你怎么说呢？

顺便问一下，你贴上的 "bule"，是你的原创？非常好，喜欢，谢谢！也替广大网友谢谢你！哈哈哈