原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-5-21 9:38:00 发表
Could you be so kind as to spare some of your precious time and translate my poor poem as you always do? My thanks beforehand.
Well, based on your greatly admired version, here comes my shoddy one for your correction.
半绕青山逐小溪,
随波来到古桥西。
柳枝初嫩花无影,
村左黄莺向客啼。
A
I follow a little stream half circling the blue mountain bight,
As I come alongside the ripples to the west of an olden bridge,
Where the willow turning green, yet no other blooms in sight,
And only an oriole greets its guest at the entrance of the village.
(‘Bight’ a bit twist, hope it doesn’t deviate too much from its original meaning)
B
Half circling the blue mountain I follow a rivulet,
As I come alongside the ripples to the west of an olden bridge,
Where the willow is verdant, but see no other blooms yet,
And only an oriole greets its guest at the entrance of the village.
( rivulet and yet, sort of ‘eye rhyme’)
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