友译系列 Untitled 青衫来客/自娱自乐

青衫来客

I was mesmerized to feel drowsy by  the rain at night
And carried away to visit my homeland by dream flight
Where on the Xiafei Road the neon lights I watched
And then at Huangpujiang River Bund I leisurely walked

夜雨催眠睡意浓，梦香随神故乡游。
霞飞路上观彩灯，浦江滩头慢步走。

海外逸士

by dream flight﹖
not at the road,  but  on  the  road.
據說霞飛是一個法國將軍名字的音譯。
上海的浦江灘頭就是外灘。以前英文名叫the  Bund。
外白渡橋叫Garden  Bridge。

自娱自乐

呵呵呵，好，好，好，青衫君的中英文造诣是众人皆知的，绝对出类拔萃，在我之上，绝对在我之上，呵呵呵
青衫君不但文才好，人品更佳，温文尔雅，礼贤下士，堪称楷模，钦佩之至，以后俺绝不敢造次了，呵呵呵
以往多有得罪，请多多包涵，多多包涵，呵呵呵
谢谢青衫君在百忙之中抽出时间来翻译俺的拙作，荣幸之至，感激万分，叩头谢恩，呵呵呵
青衫君为了押韵，呵呵呵，不说了，不说了。。。
How about 'night ----->neon-light, homeland---->sand?
Honestly, lanterns doesn't rhyme with sands, albeit both of them end with S
其他的，逸士已提到了，就不从重复了。
再次感谢青衫君！
握手

自娱自乐

霞飛路(Avenue Joffre)是上海市淮海中路在1915年到1943年之間所使用的名稱，當時是橫貫原上海法租界的一條主幹道。就是今天著名的淮海路商業街。 ...

青衫来客

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-5-23 0:21:00 发表
by dream flight﹖
not at the road,  but  on  the  road.
據說霞飛是一個法國將軍名字的音譯。
上海的浦江灘頭就是外灘。以前英文名叫the  Bund。
外白渡橋叫Garden  Bridge。

Thanks a lot for your telling  me something about the history in Shanghai. I almost  know nothing about this cornucobia in China.

青衫来客

Thank you ever so much for your your words and I feel being flattered by  the holy shit.

青衫来客

Honestly, lanterns doesn't rhyme with sands, albeit both of them end with S
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I have made the change and this would let you shut up. Is that so , buddy?

青衫来客

How about 'night ----->neon-light, homeland---->sand?
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Yes, it is a choice. But only the plu form of sand means beach.  As for night and light
, that is ok. However you have to say neon lights, not neon light.

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-5-23 7:39:00 发表
[quote] 原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-5-23 0:21:00 发表
by dream flight﹖
not at the road,  but  on  the  road.
據說霞飛是一個法國將軍名字的音譯。
上海的浦江灘頭就是外灘。以前英文名叫the  Bund。
外白渡橋叫Garden  Bridge。

Thanks a lot fo [/quote]
Really? hehehe, are you an overseas Chinese? hehehe

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-5-23 8:42:00 发表
How about 'night ----->neon-light, homeland---->sand?
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Yes, it is a choice. But only the plu form of sand means beach......

Good Job anyway, hehehe
Can I say 'to view the neon lights with delight so as to rhyme with night? hehehe,
As for 'tantou', neither sands nor beach is quite correct, the bund is the right one.