友译系列 Untitled 青衫来客/自娱自乐

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-6-8 12:50:00 发表
Your E is better than mine and I am a merchant as you said. I am so busy these daysas not to have enough time for a date.  To be frank,  I like the style of your translation even more than mine.  If i......

hehehe, well, do you mean I am not busy? That is not very nice of you!:P
I don't like ice sucker, which sucks, hehehe, I like ice-cream. :P
Does it have any metaphors? :Q

自娱自乐

I give out a title first, and then...well, I'll see if my schedule permits...


Ode to Lilacs

青衫来客

I am sorry to make you feel this way ,buddy. I know you had a promotion only a month ago and shoulder more responsibilities than before.  However, it is a easy meat for a distinquished Engish scholar to fix it up.  Ice sucker，suck my ass。哈哈哈，please do not feel offended, this is really a term to show intimacy between you and me. I have to tell you that I have been trying to find a better one than this and the effort,as you know, failed finally as usual.

自娱自乐

(draft)

As the floral emblem of Ice City the charming flower crowned,
In dream purple swallows dancing on a fine and far ground.
Fresh out of hills the blue plumes like a green lake of jasper,
Spreading like scented and snowy gauze is the white feather.


not easy at all for me...because so far I haven't been able to see anything really spectacular in my mind's eye.

Honestly, I'd rather render poems like 'atop the stork tower', which is black and white.

Please tell me what 晴遐 really is? :Q

青衫来客

In the far and clear space means 晴遐。I feel a little guilty to put this heavy load on your bony shoulder.  Your initiation is good enough.  My heat felt thanks once more.

自娱自乐

晴遐不是固定词组搭配吧？否则汉典里不会没有解释。

你用了太多的metaphors, 直译的话，读者可能会一头雾水，意译呢，也许会离题千里。

这样好了，既然是合作，那么你来翻后四句，怎么样？

青衫来客

Ok， my lousy buddy, I will do the next four according to your order and two lines for each of us when we have four the next time.

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-6-9 8:08:00 发表
Ok， my lousy buddy, I will do the next four according to your order and two lines for each of us when we have four the next time.  

Yeah, that sounds fair. hehehe
你这是在考俺中文那，科举，科举，不中举，小儿科。。。:P

嘉木子

再读

青衫来客

哈哈哈，自娱兄，我最不喜欢翻译七律了。你看那些大翻译家，谁都不愿意翻译七律。剩下那四句，我先留几天。