七绝 夜宿江北山庄四首之第一首

青衫来客

The shadow of the elm twig printing high on my window seems to tell a cryptic lie
I am inspired to sneak into a path dimmer leading to the bank of Songhuajiang river
Where I find the crescent moon looks shy as if to smile amid clouds in the night sky
And several blinking stars are in the water just dotted on the river bed for slumber

榆影横窗似说禅，
偷行小径到江边。
一眉新月云间笑，
几点疏星水底眠。

金沙文字

欣赏！
英译能否也搞成七个音节？
最好加上题目 日期 ...............

金沙文字

说禅---say in meditation
新月---crescent 或 new moon
供参考，不一定是您的原意............

周道模

The English is more abundant than the Chinese.
O, I know where you are, I"ve been there.
打错一个字母，被自娱自乐抓住啦。改了免罪。

自娱自乐

原帖由 周道模 于 2009-6-22 16:41:00 发表
The English is more abundent than the Chinese.
O, I know where you are, I"ve been there.  

一屋不扫，何以扫天下。:P

自娱自乐

原帖由 金沙文字 于 2009-6-22 13:58:00 发表
欣赏！
英译能否也搞成七个音节？
最好加上题目 日期 ...............

Why not give it a try yourself, JS?:P

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-6-22 13:44:00 发表
The shadow of the elm twig printing high on my window seems to tell a cryptic lie
I am inspired to sneak into a path dimmer leading to the bank of Songhuajiang river
Where I find the crescent moon looks shy as if to smile amid clouds in the night sky
And several blinking stars are just in the water dotted on the river bed for slumber

榆影横窗似说禅，
偷行小径到江边。
一眉新月云间笑，
几点疏星水底眠。

青衫来客

The shadow of the elm twig printing high on my window seems to tell a cryptic lie
I am inspired to sneak into a path dimmer leading to the bank of Songhuajiang river
Where I find the crescent moon looks shy as if to smile amid clouds in the night sky
And several blinking stars are just in the water dotted on the river bed for slumber
The shadow of the elm twig printing high
On my window seems to tell a cryptic lie
I am inspired to sneak into a path dimmer
Leading to the bank of Songhuajiang river
Where I find the crescent moon looks shy
As if to smile amid clouds in the night sky
And several blinking stars are  in the water
Just dotted on the river bed for slumber

青衫来客

禅的英语有几种说法，你的是其中之一。禅也有神秘象征和暗示的味道。cryptic lie 虽然不是禅，但是我还是觉得用在这里好。

青衫来客

我是用的cresent moon啊，上弦月。