【汉英双语】《泛舟》诗/无心剑

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2009-12-29 14:24:00 发表
自娱兄指出我的译文中的the road...melts...有问题，这是中肯的，现在改译为：

I sail in translation my boat so light
Yet fully filled with views of gorgeous sight.
From east to west extends my road so long,
For ages old and new my love sings a song.  

Your last line goes in this way

My love sings a song for ages

So old and new - apposition？

And what do east and west stand for?

无心剑

铁兄：
"From east to west extends my road so long,
For ages old and new my love sings a song."

My road from east to west extends so long,
For old and new ages my love sings a song.

无心剑

看了铁兄与自娱兄的讨论，受了启发，改译如下：

Sailing on the sea of translation for play,
I drink in the pretty scenery so abundant.
Between east and west I walk a long way,
With deep love from antiquity to present.

译于2009年12月29日。

自娱自乐

hehehe, nit-picking, 这个play 怎么个说法？game or sport?

其实你的内心的原意是 for fun, 可对？

如果是的话，可否这样译呢？

Sailing on the sea of translation for fun
.....
Betwix east and west I have a long way to run
......

无心剑

自娱兄，"for fun"固然对，"for play"也没错，此处"play"是amusement或recreation之意，即“娱乐”之意，原本无心剑译诗也是图个“自娱自乐”呢！

自娱自乐

但是这个play 这么用会产生歧义的

play   /pl'e?/
Synonyms:
verb: perform, act, toy
noun: game, performance, drama, sport

无心剑

呵呵，产生歧义就让读者去猜去选，岂不美哉！

铁_冰

诗歌翻译，可以同时作为game, performance, drama, sport 嘛！

无心剑

诗歌的美有时就体现在她丰富多彩的歧义呢！

铁_冰

非也，那是“多义”、“说一指多”，既然每种解释都没错，就不必指责其为“歧义”