【古诗英译】《上邪》

自娱自乐

好，呵呵呵，无心君‘变’和‘化’的能力已登峰造极，佩服。
你追求‘三美’，第一版本的押韵格式是 AAA BBB CCC, 很美，但第二版变为 ABAB BB CCC，为什么呢？

无心剑

自娱兄谬赞了。你说得对，“AAA BBB CCC”比“ABAB BB CCC”更富整齐美，因此我将第二句改译成“I wish our love to deepen”，恢复原来的押韵格式。

自娱自乐

I wish our love would deepen

好一些，毕竟有点虚拟的， 你说呢？

无心剑

呵呵，看来第一感觉往往好些，第二句恢复原样。

无心剑

【转帖】乐府诗《上邪》英译

（一）原诗及注释

上邪

上邪！①
我欲与君相知②，长命③无绝衰。
山无陵④，江水为竭，
冬雷震震⑤，夏雨雪⑥ ，
天地合⑦，乃敢⑧与君绝！

①上邪：犹言“天啊”。上，指天。邪，音义同“耶”。②相知：相爱。
③命：古与“令”字通，使。这两句是说，我愿与你相爱，让我们的爱情永不衰绝。④ 陵：大土山。
⑤震震：雷声。⑥雨雪：降雪。雨，音yù ，名词活用作动词。⑦天地合：天与地合而为一。
⑧乃敢：才敢。“敢”字是委婉的用语。

（二）铁冰译文
O Heaven Above

O Heaven above!
I want to make our love
Long long last and never fade!
Only when all mountains are decayed
And all rivers dry,
Winter roars with thunders high,
Summer sheds storming snow,
Or Heaven falls on Earth below,
Apart from you dare I go!


（三）无心剑译文：

①O, Almighty Heaven

O, almighty heaven!         （why almighty?）
I wish our love would deepen （would deepen? subjunctive mood "wish sth would" almost means "impossible"）
Till Doomsday does happen.  （happen or come?）
Never will our relation sever  （what relation?）
Unless thunder rolls in winter,
Snow flutters in summer,   
No mountain ridges remain,   （there should be 陵, not 棱; ridge is wrong and should be deleted）
All rivers completely drain,
Sky merges with earth again! （"Or sky merges with earth again!"）

译于2008年6月6日。

②O Almighty Heaven

O almighty heaven!
I wish our love would deepen
Until Doomsday does happen.   （did ancient Chinese people know "Doomsday"?）
Never will our relation sever
Unless thunder rolls in winter,
Snow flutters in summer,
No ridges tower high,         （good. here ridges=mountains）
All rivers run dry,
And earth merges with sky!    （should be "or", not "and"）

改于2009年12月22日。

（四）自娱自乐译文

I wish our love would never ever die, (forgot calling the Heaven; not just "wish", but "make" or "bid")
Until all hills are flat and rivers dry,   (reads smooth. excellent!)
Thundering in winter,              (lacking a verb!)
And snowing in summer,           (ibid)
Heaven and earth become one part,

自娱自乐

Found in dictionary: English > English.

thunder   /θ'?nd??/
Synonyms:
verb: roar, boom, rumble, peal, roll, fulminate noun: roar, boom, rumble
thunders 3rd person present;   thundering present participle;   thundered past tense, past participle
Thunder is the loud noise that you hear from the sky after a flash of lightning, especially during a storm. N-UNCOUNT There was frequent thunder and lightning, and torrential rain.
...a distant clap of thunder.
When it thunders, a loud noise comes from the sky after a flash of lightning. VERB
The day was heavy and still. It would probably thunder later. V 'it' V
The thunder of something that is moving or making a sound is the loud deep noise it makes. N-UNCOUNT
Synonym roar
The thunder of the sea on the rocks seemed to blank out other thoughts. + 'of'
Khalil heard the thunder of an avalanche.
If something or someone thunders somewhere, they move there quickly and with a lot of noise. VERB
The horses thundered across the valley floor. V prep/adv
Niccolini was thundering up the stairs, taking them two at a time. V prep/adv
A lorry thundered by. V prep/adv
If something thunders, it makes a very loud noise, usually continuously. VERB
Synonym resound
She heard the sound of the guns thundering in the fog. V
...thundering applause. V-ing
If you thunder something, you say it loudly and forcefully, especially because you are angry. VERB written
Synonym bellow
`It's your money. Ask for it!' she thundered. V with quote
The Prosecutor looked toward Napoleon, waiting for him to thunder an objection. V n
If you steal someone's thunder, you get the attention or praise that they thought they would get, usually by saying or doing what they had intended to say or do. PHRASE V inflects
He had no intention of letting the Foreign Secretary steal any of his thunder.

无心剑

呵呵，thunder 可作名词，亦可作动词。

自娱自乐

hhehehe, it can be like this -- it thundered in winter, and snowed in summer, so it doesn't lack a verb but a subject, hehehe

自娱自乐

(forgot calling the Heaven; not just "wish", but "make" or "bid")

hehehe, yep, spot on, though I could have an excuse, for I didn't take it seriously.

O, Heaven high,

:P

自娱自乐

（二）铁冰译文
O Heaven Above

O Heaven above!
I want to make our love
Long long last and never fade!
Only when all mountains are decayed
And all rivers dry,
Winter roars with thunders high,
Summer sheds storming snow,
Or Heaven falls on Earth below,
Apart from you dare I go!


hahaha, woooooo, so sexy, so kinky, so horny, hahaha