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【汉英双语】《译园》诗/无心剑

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发表于 2009-12-24 10:53:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑

译园

My Translation Garden

莫嫌译园小,
自有花枝俏。
清香洗凡尘,
何患知音少!


So small is my garden you find,
But the beauty of flowers glows.
Fragrance cleans my dusty mind,
I don't care that nobody knows!


译于2009年9月23日。

Never mind a small translation garden
Laden with pretty flowers in full bloom.
The fine fragrance takes me to the Eden,
Even nobody knows, I will never gloom!


O my small translation garden,
With flowers beautifully grown.
Fragrance takes me to the Eden,
I don't care even if I stay alone!


译于2009年12月24日。

【自娱自乐译本】

Small as my translation garden,
With so many nice flowers it is laden,
Fragrance washes my rusty brain,
Who cares no one knows my domain!


Though a small translation garden,
Laden with pretty flowers abloom.
Sweet scent takes me to the Eden,
Even nobody comes, I'll ne'er gloom.

Small as my translation garden,
With so many nice flowers it is laden,
Fragrance washes my rusty brain,
If no one cares, I'll not be insane!

Small as my translation garden,
With bountiful blooms it's laden,
It sweetly cleans my rusty brain,
Even I am alone, I will still gain!


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发表于 2009-12-24 11:29:00 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑

把“户口”迁来!

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发表于 2009-12-24 11:49:00 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑

Very nice indeed!

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发表于 2009-12-24 12:11:00 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑

Small as my translation garden,
With so many nice flowers it is laden,
Fragrance washes my rusty brain,
Who cares no one knows my domain!

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 楼主| 发表于 2009-12-24 12:27:00 | 显示全部楼层

回复 4# 自娱自乐 的帖子

本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑

wow, how wonderful!

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 楼主| 发表于 2009-12-24 15:20:00 | 显示全部楼层

回复 4# 自娱自乐 的帖子

本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑

Never mind a small translation garden
Laden with pretty flowers in full bloom.
Delicate fragrance gets me to the Eden,
Even nobody knows, I will never gloom.

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 楼主| 发表于 2009-12-24 15:32:00 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:00 编辑
原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-12-24 12:11:00 发表
Small as my translation garden,
With so many nice flowers it is laden,
Fragrance washes my rusty brain,
Who cares no one knows my domain!

Who cares no one knows my gain!
呵呵,此中有真意,外人岂可知!

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发表于 2009-12-24 15:33:00 | 显示全部楼层

回复 6# 无心剑 的帖子

本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:01 编辑

Beautiful!
discussion
between 'get' and 'take' which one is better?
tentative suggestion
Fine fragrance takes me to the Eden?

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 楼主| 发表于 2009-12-24 15:35:00 | 显示全部楼层

回复 8# 自娱自乐 的帖子

本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:01 编辑

Thanks. I think 'take' is better than 'get' here. My version can be better with your help. I can learn a lot from your constructive suggestions.

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发表于 2009-12-24 15:36:00 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:01 编辑

BTW, from a grammatical viewpoint...
nobody knows what? your garden or eden?
nobody knows it? but this 'it' refers to which 'xden'?
hehehe

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