春夜喜雨（唐）杜甫

铁_冰

不把诗中的“发生”译成happen是对的，但海外逸士的一番“理由”反映了他古文不过关：古诗里的“发生”，其实是两个词“发”、“生”，二者是近义词，都是“（植物）萌发、生长”之意，此处可理解为润物细无声的春雨促使草木萌发生长。这跟现代汉语里“发生事故”中的“发生”（即happen）根本不是一回事。
希望逸士好好复习古文，不要辜负了剑兄和娱乐兄给您的“精通古文”的美誉。

海外逸士

這裡是對自娛君說直譯問題﹐跟對原詩的解釋沒有關係。

铁_冰

这是拿错误的理解来做“直译”的举例。

自娱自乐

逸士总是有理的。。。hehehe, he is such a character, hehehe

海外逸士

這裡我與自娛君討論直譯問題﹐只涉及字面﹐不涉及理解。我們經常這樣討論問題的。
你來太晚了﹐不了解情況。

我一般在不太了解情況時﹐只提出詢問﹐決不對別人下不禮貌的結論。我們在這裡
不但相互討論學習﹐還磨煉性格﹐以及增加待人處世的閱歷。

铁_冰

哈哈，杀几句吧。

Good Rain knows the time,
And so comes in spring.
It falls stealthily at night with the wind,
And soaks everything noiselessly.
Wild paths and clouds are both dark;
Only a lamp’s light in a boat on the river.
【前面1-5句都是完整句子，到这里突然来了个不完整的句子，不伦不类】

When looking at where’s red and damp at dawn,
Flowers so dense in the city of Jin Guan.

【又是broken句。第7行没有主语，第8行没有谓语。
1.第7行没有主语，按照英文语法，looking的主语应为第8行的flowers，这显然与原诗意思不符；
2.即使你要强词夺理地说读者不是白痴，自会知道第7行的主语是“我”，那么第7-8行的意思也很离谱：只在When (I) looking at...的时候，flowers才so dense？】

铁_冰

杀自娱兄的译文：

原译：
The good rain knows the time right,
To arrive when spring comes round.
It drops in quietly with the wind at night,
To dampen everything without a sound.

Country road and cloud are cloaked in dark,
Nothing visible on river but a boat's light.
At dawn I see something wet and red spark,
O, the Jinguan Town drowns in flowers bright.


减肥版：

Good rain knows the time right,
It comes when spring's round.
It creeps with the wind in night
To wets all things without sound.

Country roads and clouds are cloaked in dark,
Only on river gleams a boat's light.
At dawn I see dampened red spark,
O, the Jinguan Town drowns in flowers bright.

铁_冰

杀华兄译文：

Good rain knows the season's pace,
Thus in gentle spring it takes place, 【take place倒是被逸士所批评的“直译”了】
Creeping into night with the breeze,
To silently moisten flowers and trees.【仅仅是润湿花木？】
Wild paths and clouds drown in night,
The lamp of river boat is the only light.【of？on？】
At dawn the dews roll on flowers red,【偏离较大】
I see the Brocade Town in a flowerbed.【flowerbed?】

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2010-1-1 7:42:00 发表
杀自娱兄的译文：

减肥版：

Good rain knows the time right,
It comes when spring's round.
It creeps with the wind in night
To wets all things without sound.

Country roads and clouds are cloaked in dark,
Only on river gleams a boat's light.
At dawn I see dampened red spark,
O, the Jinguan Town drowns in flowers bright.  

铁冰来了，呵呵呵，新年快乐！

Lines in purple are superb! Bravo!

I don't think 'creep' is nice.

"around" will sound much much better in this line, I believe.

Thanks for your comments

铁_冰

Happy new year and smile every day, from 2010 to 2100!