【古诗英译】 出塞 （王昌龄）

Rhapsodia

回复 Louisa 的帖子

Same Moon in Qin and same Pass in Han. （the same？ 感觉这个定冠词还得要）
Long march never sents back single man. （long march 是指毛的长征，这里我理解不是长途的征程，而是连年的征伐，士兵们远离家乡去打仗，结果都死在那里了。 a single man? 冠词？）
Were in Dragon City our General Flying,  （这句别扭。。。 Were General Flying in Dragon City?)
No Tartar steed should dare to cross Mt Yin. ( 虚拟语态 必须 should have dared, 没办法，躲不开的）

Louisa

国人的一些习语，也正影响着一些国外学中文人的口语。我听见有个老外开玩笑总不忘说一句：give you eyes to see see, 哈哈

宛城卧龙

No Tartar steed should dare to cross Mt Yin.

这里的语法不对 SHOULD 后面的 HAVE 不能省去，SHOULD 现在用的少，常用的该是 WOULD 。

晚风君 的译文中 已经修正过来. 我有专门查询了 语法书，晚风君的 译法是对的。

Louisa

Rhapsodia 发表于 2011-1-7 12:47
回复 Louisa 的帖子

Same Moon in Qin and same Pass in Han. （the same？ 感觉这个定冠词还得要）

谢谢晚枫君的指点。
要改错，又要改弦易辙了，重新译过，望指正：
The Moon of Qin shines on the Pass of Han.
Long expedition sends back none of men.
If Dragon City still lived our General Flying,
No Tartar steed would have crossed Mt Yin.

Louisa

谢谢晚枫君赐教，我订正在1#上了。
不知你那里是白天还是黑夜？望你注意休息不要太累了！

自娱自乐

Louisa 发表于 2011-1-7 16:16
谢谢晚枫君的指点。
要改错，又要改弦易辙了，重新译过，望指正：
The Moon of Qin shines on the Pass o ...

要改错，又要改弦易辙了，重新译过，望指正：
The Moon of Qin shines on the Pass of Han.
Long expedition sends back none of men.
If Dragon City still lived our General Flying,
No Tartar steed would have crossed Mt Yin.

友情建议：steed ----steeds

挺好的，欣赏！

The younger rises when the old doth fall!

Rhapsodia

还是不满意，再折腾一版：
Version 4

The same moon on th’ same pass from Qin to Han,①
From all expeditions returned no man
Were generals of Long Cheng battles 'live
No Huns’ steeds could have crossed Mt Yin ‘n survive.②③

Note:
①        Qin refers to the Qin Dynasty which was the first imperial dynasty of China. It started in 221 BC and ended in 206 BC.
Han refers to the Han Dynasty which started in 206 BC and ended in 220 AD. It was the second imperial dynasty of China, preceded by the Qin Dynasty.
②        Huns refer to a group of nomadic people, also called Xiongnu, who were said migrated from Mongolia region to Europe. De Guignes linked them with the Xiongnu, who had been northern neighbours of China. They kept raiding along the northern border of China from early Qin Dynasty all the way to Han Dynasty, which is a span of over 400 years. Military campaigns had been continuously launched against them and numerous soldiers died.
③        Mt Yin, or Mt Yin Shan, refers to the Yin Mountian range. It starts from the bend of Yellow River and ends at Chahar and northern Hebei Province. It is a natural barrier protecting the northern China at the time.

说一下第三句，查看一些资料后，发现龙城几次击败胡人的将军不是李广，而是卫青和霍去病，甚至是蒙恬。所以改特指为泛指。

Rhapsodia

Morning， XinJian！ You are an early bird! 剑君过奖了，还不是综合、总结了你们所有人的结果啊！这应该是大家共同的作品。

周道模

学习各位精深的讨论和好译！

Rhapsodia

我们看看许老的：

2006年版《唐诗三百首》许渊冲译文：

The moon still shines on mountain passes as of yore.
How many guardsmen of the Great Wall are no more!
If the Flying General were still there in command,
No hostile steeds would have dared to invade our land.

1987年版《唐诗三百首新译》中，许老的翻译：

The age-old moon still shines o'er the ancient Great Wall,
But our frontier guardsmen have not come back at all.
Were the winged general of Dragon City here,
The Tartar steeds would not dare to cross the frontier.