本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 17:28 编辑
读到无心君贴出该词的许渊冲译文，跟我在网上见到过许的另一译本有些不同。又见诸君的点评非常在理，许氏译本确有松散、穿凿之处，似可更加完善，遂以他的两个译本为基础，改译了一下。现将许氏两个译文及拙译贴出，请诸君品评、指正。
大江东去，
浪淘尽千古风流人物。
故垒西边，
人道是三国周郎赤壁。
乱石崩云，
惊涛拍岸，
卷起千堆雪。
江山如画，
一时多少豪杰。
遥想公瑾当年。
小乔初嫁了，
雄姿英发。
雨扇纶巾，
谈笑间，
樯橹灰飞烟灭
故国神游，
多情应笑我，
早生华发。
人间如梦，
一樽还酹江月。
【许渊冲译本一】
The Great River eastward flows
With its waves are gone all those
Gallant heroes of bygone years.
West of the ancient fortress appears
The Red Cliff. Here General Zhou won his early fame
When the Three Kingdoms were all in flame.
Jagged rocks tower in the air,
Swashing waves beat on the shore,
Rolling up a thousand heaps of snow.
To match the hills and the river so fair,
How many heroes brave of yore
Made a great show!
I fancy General Zhou at the height
Of his success, with a plume fan in hand,
In a silk hood, so brave and bright,
Laughing and jesting with his bride so fair,
While enemy ships were destroyed as planned
Like shadowy castle in the air.
Should their souls revisit this land,
Sentimental, his wife would laugh to say,
Younger than they, I have my hair all turned gray.
Life is but a dream,
I'd drink to the moon which once saw them on the stream.
【许渊冲译本二】
The endless river eastward flows;
With its huge waves are gone all those
Gallant heroes of bygone years.
West of the ancient fortress appears
The Red Cliff where General Zhou won his early fame
When the Three Kingdoms were in flame.
Rocks tower in the air and waves beat on the shore,
Rolling up a thousand heaps of snow.
To match the land so fair, how many heroes of yore
Have made great show!
I fancy General Zhou at the height
Of his success, with a plume fan in hand,
In a silk hood, so brave and bright,
Laughing and jesting with his bride so fair,
While enemy ships were destroyed as planned
Like castle in the air.
Should their souls revisit this land,
Sentimental, his wife would laugh to say:
Younger than they, I have my hair turned grey.
Life is but like a dream,
O moon, I drink to you who have seen them on the stream.
【在下改译】
The Great River eastward flows.
Its waves have washed away so many gallant heroes
Of all the years bygone.
West of the ancient fort, 'tis said there
Appears the Red Cliff where
General Zhou's early fame in Three Kingdoms was won.
Jagged rocks tower in the air and huge waves beat on the shore,
Rolling up a thousand heaps of snow.
To match the land so fair, how many heroes of yore
Had made their great show!
I fancy General Zhou in his days with his bride new,
Was so brave and bright in radiant hue.
A silk hood he dressed, a feather fan in hand,
In laughter he burned out enemy ships as planned.
If their souls revisit this land,
Sentimental, his wife would laugh to say:
"You're younger than us, but your hairs has turned gray."
Alas, life is all as a dream,
Let me drink to the moon who ever saw them on the stream.
根据海外君指正，将上阙再改如下：
The Great River eastward flows.
Its waves have washed away so many gallant heroes
Of all ages bygone.
West of the ancient fort, 'tis said there
Appears the Red Cliff where
General Zhou's fame in Three Kingdoms was won.
Jagged rocks tower in the air and huge waves beat on the shore,
Rolling up a thousand heaps of billow as snow.
To match the land so fair, how many heroes of yore
Had made their great show!
根据自娱君的指正（红字），将下阙再改译（蓝字为自改）如下：
I fancy General Zhou in his heyday with his bride,
Was so brave and bright in radiant pride.
A silk hood he dressed, a feather fan in hand,
In laughter he burned out enemy ships as planned.
If their souls revisit this land,
Sentimental, she would tease to say:
"Still young you are, but your hair’s turned gray."
Alas, life is all as a dream,
Let me drink to the moon who ever saw them on the stream.
【自娱自乐译本一】
The Yangzte River eastbound flows;
Countless gallant heroes in history are gone with the billows.
The ancient fortress on the westside,
It's Red Cliff where Mr.Zhou won his fame Kingdoms-wide.
Rugged rocks rise so high as to cleave cloud,
Tidal waves swash the shore so loud，
Swirling and spiraling thousands of heaps of snow,
O,what a beautiful nation! And ages ago,
It must've boasted of making many a valiant fellow!
I can fancy Mr. Zhou was so brave and bright in his heyday,
Who wedded his bride, Miss XiaoQiao, hurray!
Laughing and jesting, with a feather fan in his hand,
As well as his signature - Zhuge headband,
Mr. Zhuge had Cao's warships burnt down in disgrace.
Should their spirits rendezvous with each other at this place,
They would definitely tease me to say,
'O, so sentimental, still pretty young, yet your hair's turned all gray'
Alas! Life is nothing but a dream,
Let me drain my drink upon the riverbank for the moon and stream.
【自娱自乐译本二】
The Yangzte River eastbound flows;
Countless gallant heroes in history follow'd its billows.
The ancient fortress is still on the westside,
The Red Cliff in Three Kingdoms was *Zhou's pride.
Rugged rocks rise so high as to cleave cloud,
Tidal waves swash the shore so loud.
Swirling and spiraling thousands of splashes like snow,
O,what a beautiful nation! And only ages ago,
It boasted of making many a valiant fellow!
I fancy Zhouyu* was brave and bright in his heyday,
Who wedded his bride - Xiaoqiao*, hurray!
Wearing a silk headband with a feather fan in hand,
Laughing and jesting, he gave his command
To have Cao's warships burnt down in disgrace.
Should their spirits again rendezvous at this place,
They would definitely tease me to say,
'So sentimental, still young, yet hair's turned gray'
Alas! Life is nothing but a dream,
Let me drain my drink for the moon and stream.
【自娱自乐译本三】
Eastbound the Great River runs on and on,
With its billows all gallant heroes in history are gone.
The Red Cliff is at the westside of the ancient fort;
A battle betwix Zhou and Cao of Three Kingdoms was fought,
Rugged rocks stand so tall as to cleave cloud,
Tidal waves swash the shore so loud.
Swirling and spiraling thousands of splashes like snow,
O,what a sensational nation! And only ages ago,
It boasted of making many a valiant fellow!
I can fancy Zhou* was brave and bright in his heyday,
Who wedded his bride - Xiaoqiao*, O, hurray!
Wearing a silk headband with a feather fan in hand,
Laughing and lauding, he gave his command -
To have Cao's warships burnt down in disgrace.
Should their spirits rejoin at this place,
They would definitely tease me to say,
'So sentimental, still young, yet hair's turned gray'
Alas! Life is nothing but a dream,
Let me drain my drink for the moon and stream.
【无心剑译本】
The Great River eastward flows;
All past gallant heroes are gone with billows.
West of the ancient fort the Red Cliff stays same;
Where General Zhou of Three Kingdoms won his fame.
Rugged rocks tower into the skies;
Terrifying waves swash the shore with cries
To roll up thousands of heaps of snow.
What a picturesque land on show!
O so many valiant heroes have bursted into glow!
I fancy brave and bright General Zhou in his prime;
With his new bride Xiaoqiao, he had such happy time!
Wearing a silk hood and holding a feather fan in hand;
Laughing and jesting, he ruined Cao's warships as planned.
Should their souls revisit the familiar land,
They might tease my sentimentality and say,
"You are still young, yet hair has turned gray."
Alas! Life is nothing but a dream,
Let me drink with the moon on the stream!
|
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|中诗网
( 京ICP备：12024093号-1|
京公网安备 11010502045403号 )
发表于 2009-11-29 06:23:00