《中诗翻译笔会》第六期

宛城卧龙

二三版尝试押韵
不知道这样调整 语法是否会出错
尤其是第三版

宛城卧龙

同时我也思考了
一些问题
译文 如何押韵 如何简洁  

请诸位先生狠批吧

宛城卧龙

期待各位先生的译文

嘉木子

先生好！:share:
来赏读了，呵~

青衫来客

赏读卧龙兄译文。近日因那边稍忙，这边来的少了。此期定有陋译，问候！

青衫来客

原帖由 嘉木子 于 2009-5-12 19:11:00 发表
先生好！:share:
来赏读了，呵~

木子好吗？

嘉木子

Buttlefly

do you see two yellow butterflies
flying up together to the sky?
but, i don't know why——
there is one come back,abruptly!
and yet the other one still there,
to be seem very pitiful and lonely;
and in no mood to floating up in the air,
as in there it will feel very lonely.

我来抛砖引玉了，先贴上这个:)

宛城卧龙

嘉君的版本奉上

宛城卧龙

期待青衫君的翻译哈

宛城卧龙

Buttlefly

A couple of yellow butterflies,
In pairs, flying high in skies.
Do not know why?
Suddenly, one makes a turn to fly   
The other
Lonely and miserable thither.
Not in the mood for heaven,
For heaven is too lonely for certain.