【汉英微型诗】 秋夜湖畔

周道模

秋夜湖畔
风摇水中月
坐听对岸古筝乐
秋虫草丛学

At Lakeside in Autumn Night
Wind swaying the moon in the water
Sitting here enjoying music from other bank by zither
Insects in grass imitating it like learner
2009-8-27晚

自娱自乐

风摇水中月---- The Moon in the water is swaying for the wind
既然都说‘风摇水中月’了，那还不干脆就翻成‘wind sways the moon in the water'
it sounds more poetic than ...hehehe

金沙文字

“学”字太有趣。秋虫们如果真的学会了“古筝乐”，如何了得！

自娱自乐

原帖由 普敬天下人 于 2009-12-23 15:10:00 发表
The insects are mimicing the music in the thick grass.

嗯，这个词用得好，赞一个！不过是mimicking.

无心剑

秋夜湖畔
Autumn Night at Lakeside
风摇水中月
坐听对岸古筝乐
秋虫草丛学
the wind sways the moon in the water   
I sit listening to zither from the other shore
the insects chirp similarly in the grass

铁_冰

秋夜湖畔
风摇水中月
坐听对岸古筝乐
秋虫草丛学
Autumn Night at Lakeside
The breeze sways the moon in the water wide
I sit enjoying the tweedle from the oppositing lakeside
Insects in grass mimic and hide

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2009-12-23 16:36:00 发表
秋夜湖畔
风摇水中月
坐听对岸古筝乐
秋虫草丛学
Autumn Night at Lakeside
The breeze sways the moon in the water wide
I sit enjoying the tweedle from the oppositing lakeside
Insects in grass mimic and hide

呵呵呵，为了凑韵脚，呵呵呵
这个 wide 有必要吗？
题目已提到 lakeside, 所以这儿可以简化为 side ---the other side or opposite side
in the grass = hide in the grass, 有必要反复强调嘛？呵呵呵
otherwise, wow, fantastic!

自娱自乐

Ok, I also give it a try for fun...
In the water the wind sways the moon,
Facing the other side, I sit enjoying the lute's tune,
In the grass insects mimic the croon.

铁_冰

娱乐兄杀得好，我也不过是娱乐一下
回杀一句：
In the water the wind sways the moon=风在水里摇月亮。水里不会有风，不妥。
“the wind sways the mirrored moon”如何？

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2009-12-23 17:13:00 发表
娱乐兄杀得好，我也不过是娱乐一下
回杀一句：
In the water the wind sways the moon=风在水里摇月亮。水里不会有风，不妥。
“the wind sways the mirrored moon”如何？

What do we call this stuff?
Poem, right? hehehe