【汉英微型诗】 秋夜湖畔

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2009-12-24 6:32:00 发表
秋夜湖畔
周道模

风摇水中月
坐听对岸古筝乐
秋虫草丛学

Autumn Night at Lakeside
Words by Zhou Daomo, Tr. Iceiron

The moon wavers in ripples the breeze brings,
I sit listening......

很好，不过和原文还是有距离啊，你是大翻译家，我想你一定能解决这个问题的。:P

好好露一手，让俺白丁先睹为快，哈哈哈

铁_冰

娱乐兄，没for也可以的。
"风摇水中月"是不符合逻辑的，英文无法将其精确地表达出来。

铁_冰

如果是我，写诗时不会选择太具体的“摇”字，而是会写成：

风动水中月

合心儿

秋夜湖畔

风摇水中月
坐听对岸古筝乐
秋虫草丛学

惬意:)

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2009-12-24 7:20:00 发表
娱乐兄，没for也可以的。
"风摇水中月"是不符合逻辑的，英文无法将其精确地表达出来。

hehehe, maybe that is american...hehehe

自娱自乐

American says ' I like for you to come' hahahah

They shift 'for' from there to here, hahaha

铁_冰

The shorter, the better.

Today one of my Chinese colleague said to another, "谢谢，你帮了我很大的忙"(10 syllables). I told him, "you should say that in English because it is briefer: Thank you for your big help"(6 syllables). But he felt "big help" was Chinglish.

How do you think, friend?

自娱自乐

of course, no need that 'big' what's for?

Thanks very much for your help will do, what do you reckon?

自娱自乐

原帖由 铁_冰 于 2009-12-24 7:40:00 发表
The shorter, the better.

Not quite right, we say 'the simpler, the better'.

铁_冰

hehe, no big, not big.