（古诗英译）山中 - 王勃

自娱自乐

山中
王勃
长江悲已滞， 万里念将归。
况属高风晚， 山山黄叶飞。
In mountain
By Wangbo
Sadly the long river seems to hold me on,
Home is miles away yet to return I long.
Now wind in late autumn wails so strong,
On hills yellowed leaves're flying and gone.  
V2.
Sadly the long river holds me on to stay,
Home is miles away yet to return I long.
Now wind in late autumn wails so strong,
Yellowed leaves on hills fly and fly away.
　
V3.
Sadly the long river seems to detain me,
Home is miles away yet to return I long.
Now wind in late autumn wails so strong,
The yellowed leaves on hills fly in a hurry.
（无心剑版本）
In the Yangtze River's grief I stay,
Longing to return home far away!
At night autumn wind blows high,
O from hill to hill yellow leaves fly.
V2.
Great River sadly lets me stay,
I long to return home far away!
Wind in late autumn blows high,
From hill to hill yellow leaves fly.
Well, I love to give it a try for fun regardless of whether it is translatable or not. As a saying goes - "Let dogs bark, caravan moves on.", for someone's 'bark' can't be worse than 'bite', hehehe

无心剑

但求与君同乐，哪管他人犬吠。
山中
In the Hill
王勃
by Wang Bo
长江悲已滞，
万里念将归。
况属高风晚，
山山黄叶飞。
In the Yangtze River's grief I stay,
Longing to return home far away!
At night autumn wind blows high,
O from hill to hill yellow leaves fly.
译于2007年5月30日。
Great River sadly lets me stay,
I long to return home far away!
Wind in late autumn blows high,
From hill to hill yellow leaves fly.
改于2010年2月7日。

自娱自乐

Wow, very nicely done, hehehe, and love to see some variation on the same poem, hehehe

周道模

学习。
无心剑君：in the hill?       in the hills?

无心剑

都可以吧。

无心剑

Sadly the long river seems to hold me on,    采用拟人化手法，很好。
Home is miles away yet to return I long.       家虽远，更思归，译出转折关系，很好。
Now wind in late autumn wails so strong,    深秋风儿悲鸣，好像懂诗人之心，很好。
The yellowed leaves on hills fly and gone.    yellowed表明变黄之意，有动感，很好。但fly and gone好像不合语法。

自娱自乐

谢谢无心君的点评。译文的最后一句的确存在语法问题。
改为：On hills yellowed leaves're flying and gone?
hehehe

自娱自乐

原帖由 无心剑 于 2010-2-7 7:23:00 发表
From hill to hill yellow leaves fly.

hehehe, does it sound like yellow leaves fly from this hill to the other? hehehe:P

无心剑

The long river detains me in grief,
Home's so far that I find no relief.
Wind in late autumn feels so chill,
O yellow leaves fly in hill upon hill.

自娱自乐

Good!
how about 'home's still far beyond my belief'?