詠雪bilingual

无心剑

最後句與原文出入大。

谢谢海外前辈批评指教，最后一句译文已作修改。

铁_冰

[quote]
呵呵，剑兄的译文中也有一处不够简洁：fair belles中的fair是多余的。

我的译文中的ineffaceable的确不好，倒不是因为与heavenly beauty重复，而是因为未能译出“自弃”之意。
先改成如下样子，有时间再精雕细刻。

Born with beauty hard to be neglecte
自娱自乐 发表于 2010-2-17 8:42:00

娱乐兄莫夸，译文我自己并不满意，因为“天生丽质”我只用了Born with beauty三个词，“难自弃”却用了hard to be neglected e'en by her own一大串，很失衡。还是剑兄的so hard for her to hide简洁佳妙，不敢掠美。

至于All belles in the six palaces, however fair, were outshone，并无啰嗦。它的意思是：六宫所有的美人，不管有多美，都黯然失色。

自娱自乐

Sorry, I didn't read it properly in haste, hehehe, thought you still had that 'though'...yep, now it is ok.

Cheers

自娱自乐

hahaha, wuxinjun tried his butts off to beautify this emperor, heheheh, just kidding...

tenderly, hehehehe, maybe I would use 'excessively', or 'lavishly'?

自娱自乐

That is because you don't want to give your 'own' up, hehehe

自娱自乐

好，咱们继续玩，呵呵呵，好坏不重要，重在参与，呵呵呵


承歡侍宴無閑暇，
春從春遊夜專夜。
後宮佳麗三千人，
三千寵愛在一身。

From banquet to bed she busily changed her role betwix a toy and joy,
Excursion everyday in spring; every night a mate for emperor to enjoy.
Emperor possessed three thousand belles in waiting in the harem,
Yet only one got the fullest attention and affection from his spectrum.


:P

海外逸士

既然如此﹐你就自開一線﹐把這裡的相關翻譯都移植過去。

无心剑

跟海外前辈、自娱兄、铁兄玩译诗，真是其乐无穷啊！O(∩_∩)O~

铁_冰

From banquet to bed she busily changed her role betwix a toy and joy,
想象力丰富。
玉环是玄宗的JOY,但不是TOY，至少在《长恨歌》里不是。白居易花了浓墨重彩去描写他们的真挚爱情。

铁_冰

every night a mate for emperor to enjoy
难道玉环就不enjoy做爱？