詠雪bilingual

自娱自乐

天生麗質難自棄，
一朝選在君王側．
回眸一笑百媚生，
六宮粉黛無顏色．

It'd be hard for her to relinquish the God's given gift forever,
One day she was chosen to serve at the side of the emperor.
As she turned with a smile, all kinds of irresistible spells befell,
At once the glamor of all ladies in the six palaces went to hell.




It'd be extremely hard to relinquish her God's given gift forever.
So one day she was chosen to serve at the side of the Emperor.
As she turned with a smile, all kinds of irisistable spells came to pass,
The glamor of belles in the six palaces she took no effort to outclass.


:P

海外逸士

最後行為了押韻用了WENT  TO  HELL不妥。用詞要與文體一致。

到底薑還是老的辣﹐非年輕人可望其項背。自娛君該出手時就出手。鼓掌一下。

自娱自乐

春寒賜浴華清池，
溫泉水滑洗凝脂；
侍兒扶起嬌無力，
始是新承恩澤時。

She was granted a bath in Hua-Qing-Pool on a cold day of spring,
Washing her creamy skin with warm spring water smoothly moving.
Deliciously languorous, she was helped by her maids out of the pool.
It was her first time to receive the emperor's steaming love-gruel*.


She was granted a bath in Hua-Qing-Pool on a cold day of spring,
Washing her creamy skin with warm spring water smoothly moving.
So deliciously languorous, she was helped out of the pool in haste,
And then it was her very first time to relish the nuptial night taste.



She was granted a bath in Hua-Qing-Pool on a cold day of spring,
Washing her creamy skin with warm spring water smoothly moving.
So deliciously languorous, out of the pool she was carefully led,
And then it was her very first time to join the emperor in his bed.


:P

自娱自乐

最後行為了押韻用了WENT  TO  HELL不妥。用詞要與文體一致。

到底薑還是老的辣﹐非年輕人可望其項背。自娛君該出手時就出手。鼓掌一下。
海外逸士 发表于 2010-2-16 1:31:00

哦，是吗？呵呵呵，谢谢你的指正。不过我在试译时想到的不光是押韵的问题，还想到了其诗句背后的含义。由于杨贵妃的出现和受宠使得其他的六宫粉黛顿时黯然失色有如下地狱一般。难道不是吗？

呵呵呵，看你这话说的，呵呵呵，年轻人指谁啊？无心剑和铁冰？呵呵呵，这首诗对他们来讲小菜一碟，我这不是激将法，我说的都是实话，这个你也知道，我只是玩玩而已，我的那点东西是上不了台面的，呵呵呵，哪能和你比呢，呵呵呵


“到底薑還是老的辣﹐非年輕人可望其項背。” 这句话其实对你说是最合适不过了，我实在不敢当，呵呵呵


Once again I'd like to thank you for your participation, and your opinion is highly appreciated.

Cheers

:P

铁_冰

年轻人还要工作，还要恋爱，没有可以花在大块时间花在这上面。读一读评一评带还可以。

铁_冰

So deliciously languorous, her maids helped her step out of the pool.
这一句，形容词与主语配对不正确。

铁_冰

【she relished the emperor's steaming love-gruel】

love-gruel不知是什么东西；
少女的第一次，痛得要死，说不上relish。

自娱自乐

So deliciously languorous, her maids helped her step out of the pool.
这一句，形容词与主语配对不正确。
铁_冰 发表于 2010-2-16 6:53:00

You are right, for I also realized. Many thanks for your input.

自娱自乐

【she relished the emperor's steaming love-gruel】

love-gruel不知是什么东西；
少女的第一次，痛得要死，说不上relish。
铁_冰 发表于 2010-2-16 6:57:00

How do you know she didn't enjoy it? Has your gal had any such experience?

As for love-gruel, hehehe, are you short of imagination? Well, I just coined it, which means semen / seminal fluid / (love) seed

Well, mayhaps I could think about using 'seed', hhehehe

自娱自乐

Gruel is a food made by boiling oats with water or milk.

Well, oats sometimes could be used to imply sperms...